The picture above is a self-portrait shot yesterday in my backyard. It was one of about 15 or so. This was the only one I deemed acceptable. The rest will be garbage. This is a rare photo of me at a straight-on angle NOT making a stupid face, not even smiling. I think I look old and tired but I can look at it and not look away and that’s a good thing.

I suppose I’m extremely lucky to have such beautiful women in my life to photograph. That way I can continue what I do best: staying behind the camera, right where I belong.

Anyway, Mr. Krider suggested each participant design our own flyer if we wanted to. What you see above, is mine! I gave it a bit of a girly feel being the only female photographer participating. ;) The model in the image is my cousin Cassie, rockin’ it like always.

All too often I see babies being born to people who have no business raising children. Unfortunately, I think the majority of my generation (and all those younger) come from unstable and/or broken homes. It was sometime during my growing-up years that “dysfunctional” finally surpassed “functional” as the family norm. Now that the products of those rocky situations are producing their own offspring, the dysfunctional family trend is showing no signs of slowing down which, to me, is altogether heartbreaking.

The Hawkins family is the rare exception to this rule. I met Carrie Hawkins in college around 2001. It wasn’t too long afterwards that I met her older sister, Amanda. They come from a happy, loving family whose parents are still together and better yet – still happily in love. The pictures above are of Amanda, her husband Sam Greene and their 9 month-old daughter, Pepper. I shot Amanda and Sam’s wedding back in 2008 and so when Amanda asked if I’d take pictures of her new little family during a trip to Phoenix a few weeks ago, I was more than happy to do so. I was a little nervous since I don’t take many family photos but I’m pleasantly satisfied with the results. They were so much fun to shoot and even more fun to hang out with. Since it seems to occur so rarely anymore, I’m always overjoyed when I see children born to together, happy, in love parents. This little girl is loved so much by so many people, I can’t help but feel a little envious of her good fortune.

I predict Pepper Greene will have a full and happy life and in 20 years when she stumbles across these images she’ll see how beautiful and in-love her parents were and realize why. She already has the head-start that most of us can only dream of.

To see more images from the shoot, please visit my Flickr.
To learn more about Pepper, please visit Amanda’s wonderful blog: www.micro-bird.com/

“The most compatible, silly and in love couple of beans there ever has been. No arguing, please – we are! Now we have a baby, a squishy little girl. This blog is to document our new lives together, the three of us. <3"

And to check out more of Amanda’s lovely pursuits (she designed this website!), please go here: ahhh.co/

But I digress. My dad took his own life a week prior to Christmas of 1998 and a few days afterwards, my mom was cleaning out the entertainment center and found a red spiral bound notebook shoved into one of the lower cabinets. Turns out, he’d been keeping a journal for a few months – an extended suicide note, if you will. She’d made photocopied versions for family and a friend or two. She made the mistake of loaning the original notebook to his sister who still has not returned it. So I have one of the photocopied books.

For years, I’ve been wanting to scan all the pages and make something nicer of it. Our relationship was always strained and difficult but I thought he deserved that much at least. I also thought it may be therapeutic and a decent way to end that chapter of my life (no pun intended). Unfortunately, I never felt mentally capable of such an undertaking…until recently. So a few months back I took the first step in scanning all the pages and then, I don’t know…became busy with other things? Forgot? But a few weeks ago I was contacted by a cousin of my dad’s – someone I’ve never known or met and we’ve been talking about our family, all of the tragedies, damage, anguish and I suddenly remembered this was something I never finished. So I set this weekend aside and promised myself I’d get it done. And now it is.

I’m not sure if anyone but me would find this interesting in any way and if not, that’s certainly okay. I didn’t do this for anyone else, after all.

“Average reader will think at this point that I’m asking for faith – nothing could be further from the truth! I ask only for wisdom and the ability to use it – for the future…upon which all depends, without which all is lost.”

To preview and/or purchase the book, click the image above or go here:
http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/2998201
And to read the wonderful writing of Tamara Linse (the cousin I mentioned above) go here:
http://www.tamaralinse.com/

I’m currently working on a new project that I’m mega-excited to share with you all! I’ll refrain from divulging everything about it at this moment but the above images should give you a major clue. I’ll be sending out a newsletter or two between now and when it’s released (which should be soon!) discussing it in more detail for those who are too eager to wait for it to go live to get all the juicy details (as well as be the first to know WHEN it goes live!). So please, if you’re at ALL interested in my photo-editing process subscribe to my mailing list! Use the quick form below or click this link!

Recently designed a concert poster for my stepdad’s band. More info on them:

Back in the days of Hendrix, Iron Butterfly, Steppenwolf, Black Sabbath, Grand Funk, Yes, and Led Zeppelin, these guys were kids who were writing their own music. Although they were young, these boys were contemporaries with the big bands of the 70s and 80s. C.S. Truckin opened shows for Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow (Deep Purple), REO Speedwagon, Quicksilver Messenger Service, Brian Auger and The Buddy Miles Band (Jimi Hendrix). Fast forward to 2011 and we discover that “The Truck” has re-emerged! Their style is relevant and ranges from pop rock to country crossover. The boys in the band are more talented, more refined and more determined than ever to make the music they so enjoy and share it with the music world. Every Other Tuesday is a FREE concert series, open to the public and sponsored by the Dona Ana Arts Council.

The Moon is a white strange world, great, white, soft-seeming globe in the night sky, and what she actually communicates to me across space I shall never fully know. But the Moon that pulls the tides, and the Moon that controls the menstrual periods of women, and the Moon that touches the lunatics, she is not the mere dead lump of the astronomist. . . . When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness. — D.H. Lawrence, Phoenix: The Posthumous Papers of D.H. Lawrence, pt. 4, 1930.

Since December I’ve been in a funk. A hole, a rut, a slump, a downslide. Gloom. The holidays are typically hard on me anyway for past personal reasons but I can’t shake this feeling of absolute stagnation even now that they’re gone. I feel like some time ago I stopped growing, like I’m no longer moving forward. It feels like I’ve been jogging on a treadmill. I’m perpetually drained of energy but I’m not getting anywhere. I don’t think I mentioned it, but last semester I thought school was the answer to this feeling. It wasn’t and ultimately, I was mostly disappointed in the experience. And my reaction to the experience. It could have been the classes, I’m not sure. It could be that unless at least 8 more hours are added to each day it’ll never work for me because I value my free time so very much. So much that I’d rush through assignments just to get them done, not savoring new knowledge or taking my time to linger, to let it all soak in. And because school and work left me less free time than I was used to I spent absolutely zero time on personal art and projects. And that’s the exact opposite of what I wanted to happen. I had hoped that it would inspire me to create. It didn’t. In fact, the night before one of my finals I went out drinking with a friend and got so trashed I spent that night and the next morning vomiting. I barely made it to my final and managed to ace it anyway. And then was glad to be done.

So I think because I spent all of those months just looking forward to free-time and empty moments, I’m now hungry to create despite the dumps I’m down in. I’m also angry and short-tempered much of the time. Never in a million years would I think I could experience these feelings simultaneously but I am. And I’m still not quite sure what to make of it. I’ve shot and edited more images in the last few weeks than I have in the entire last half of 2011. It’s definitely a good feeling. Hopefully I’ll have enough of them to cancel out the bad ones soon.

The image above is one in a new series I’m calling Distraction. The model is one of my beautiful go-tos here in Springs and the location is an empty house across the street. It belongs to my neighbor who’s been trying to fix it up after his last renters moved out. They basically trashed the place and he’s put in a lot of work to bring it back to good. He was nice enough to let me use it for a little while last weekend. Good locations are so hard to come by, when the opportunity presented itself I couldn’t not take it. Please if you’re aware of any good locations in the Pueblo, Colorado Springs, Denver area (appropriate for nudity, preferably empty or with a vintage feel) email me: rebeccatillett[at]gmail.com. There may even be some prints in it for anyone who suggests or provides a location that works out. I’d definitely appreciate it.

So what do you think of Distraction? I’m thrilled by it.