I think like so many others, I have these moments, these days or weeks or sometimes even months where I'm doubting myself in some tormenting capacity. Is this where I'm supposed to be? Have I been eating all the wrong foods? Have I gotten heavier? Am I spending enough time outside? Will I always be reliant on a desk job for a paycheck? Are there enough people that care about me? Am I proud of myself professionally? Can I call myself an artist? Where has any of it taken me? ("...to Rome?" Thanks for the reminder Kirsten!) And there were some poignant moments at last night's Containers for Connection #10lettersproject gathering that allowed me to ask some of these questions and then let them go. Too many of us waste energy asking ourselves these things and spend extravagant amounts of time trying to answer them without acknowledging we shouldn't be indulging them in the first place. Last night I was allowed to ask these things of someone else in the room in a letter and get a response. The question in my letter began "Can you tell me if you also deal with these fears?" And my anonymous but beautiful responder replied "I live with the same fears..." There are simply not enough words to convey how powerful that was. Sometimes, if we can't silence the broken record of negativity in our heads, it's terrifying but necessary that we say them out loud or write them down to release them in some way so that someone else can catch them. I don't know yet, what exactly that looks like, but I'd love to start just by writing letters to friends or even strangers I can someday call friends. Thanks for such a heartrending and provoking event, @jenleedotnet. It won't be one I'll soon forget. (And thank you so much for the postcards.)
Catch and Release /
Jen Lee