If I Don't Have Him /January 13, 2010 by Rebecca Tillett

“Maybe none of this actually means anything if I don’t have him. And maybe I hate myself for that. And maybe I even hate him for that.”

— R. Tillett

“Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.”

— Clementine Paddleford

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Cass and Dan

about 5 months ago

I am so proud of this woman. And so enamored by the idea that someone whose own blood I share could be so bold and fearless in their approach to life.

Bigger Love in the Moon's Shadow

about 9 months ago

Needless to say, when I learned in early 2023 that here in Oklahoma, we would be in the path of totality for 2024’s eclipse, we knew immediately we would be seeing it.

Maddie and Wyndham

about a year ago

Last month I trekked to White Salmon, WA to shoot the wedding of Maddie and Wyndham, a beautiful couple in one of the most beautiful places on this little globe.

Scene at Hastings Rd

about a year ago

My last shoot with Amanda (my oldest friend and one of my very first models nearly 20 years ago now) was in 2016 in Santa Fe. The one before that was in 2012 and I remember waxing poetic after our last one about how the previous 4 years had just inexplicably flown by and now: here I am, posting my favorites from our last shoot that happened 7 years following our previous one.

Chasing Butterflies

about 3 years ago

Before this girl was born, my husband and I would talk at length about how strange it would be to finally meet her, wondered what she’d look like, who she’d be. When she was a baby we’d marvel at how tiny she was, yet how big her personality, and we’d talk about how strange it would be to imagine her as a child, walking around, talking even. It all seemed so distant & strange and impossible to really comprehend.

Hermanas Hermosas

about 3 years ago

How come the cousin relationship doesn’t get much attention? It’s pretty great and unique actually. You’re friends in that you don’t share parents but family in that you share grandparents. I mean, it’s basically best of both worlds, right?

OK Winter Wonderland

about 4 years ago

Last weekend the Tulsa, OK area got an unusual amount of snow. My family and I just moved from Denver to a 7 acre property about 30 minutes south of Tulsa. This particular piece of land happens to have a small lake (or a big pond) on the property and the sudden and ample snowfall completely transformed this thing into a picturesque scene out of a storybook or painting.

Love in the Moon's Shadow

about 7 years ago

The trip was of course, wonderful, until the last 30 minutes of the drive home when Serenica's engine began stalling on us whenever we'd drop beneath a certain speed (hoping it's a minor fix!). Fortunately, after stalling out on several occasions and getting it restarted again, she died right inside our RV storage lot gate and wouldn't turn over.