I used to spend my New Year’s Eves looking backward. Already missing the year that was fast coming to a close, and moving quietly into my past. I spent much of my life with a complicated relationship to my past and an obliviousness to the future—or just never considering it at best. My dad’s death when I was a teenager rendered me nearly incapable of comprehending it.
But when you have a child, existing mournfully in your past becomes a thing you wouldn’t have the time for even if you wanted to —which you don’t, really. A child is a nod to the future, the acknowledgement that time marches forward and there is no amount of yearning or ruminating or languishing that can change that. In fact, all of those feelings are quickly replaced with an intense, beautiful kind of hope. Plans, dreams, visions…suddenly I find myself living in a future that has yet to come to fruition. Life is funny like that. And time, well, I can’t wrap my mind around it, really. It’s overwhelming.
I bought this beautiful black party dress for Mina earlier last year fully intending to do a Fall photo-shoot with her but life got crazy and time, of course, slipped through my fingers. But I was determined to make it happen before the year was out. And so we did: New Year’s Eve. I didn’t get as many shots as I’d hoped, and Mina had very little patience for the brisk weather and my ask that she forgo a jacket “for just 10 minutes” so Mama could snap some photos and so, I had to rush, I was a bit frazzled, Mina was chilly, the setting wasn’t entirely what I initially envisioned, but the sun was going down fast and we were running out of light. Basically, it could have been better, more ideal…but so can everything, right? I refuse to let perfect be the enemy of good. The few shots I did get still came out great and Mina did such a wonderful job. I am a lucky mom and photographer that this tiny girl humors me for these shoots…especially since she’s really the only lady I seem to shoot these days. ;)
I already have ideas for our shoot this year. Stay tuned!
