Six Metal Plates / by Rebecca Tillett

Introducing the 6 metal plates that are a permanent fixture of my face now. And today I learned I have to wear this damn splint in the roof of my mouth for THREE MORE WEEKS. That’s 8 weeks total of mashed potatoes and pasta and yogurt and pasta and ice cream and mashed potatoes and pasta and pudding and soup and soup and soup and SOUP AND SOUP AND SOUP. The other day I nearly licked a printed ad for cheeseburgers. Have I mentioned how hungry I am? HAVE I?! I think I spent no less than 20 solid minutes talking to my art director about pizza and nachos this morning. In other news, I’ve found the perfect weight loss program, guys. (sigh) Three. More. Weeks.