“I’m sorry about your mother.”
Last night, after being called a slew of really really horrible things by my mother-in-law for absolutely no reason save for a mental illness she claims is under control, I realized I have said this thing to many people close to me in my life.
“I’m sorry about your mother.”
Too many.
I feel the amount of women that I know in my life or those that I know of in the life of my closest friends and family; women from the baby boomer generation that are severely broken or mentally ill is disproportionate to that of the general population. But is it? I have been so fascinated with this topic over the last year or so that I’ve discussed it in depth with several of my closest friends and family. My mother-in-law, my ex-mother-in-law, my aunt, the mothers or mothers-in-law of many of my closest friends (not too much my own mother, thankfully)—all incredibly fucked up, some to more severe degrees than others. Some still functioning, somewhat undetected by outsiders, some most definitely not. Some so broken I’m amazed they’ve made it this far.
It’s truly awful. But what caused this? What happened to these women? To this generation? A good friend of mine has a very plausible theory involving lead paint. But what about the men? Maybe it manifests differently in them. I know so many depressed alcoholic men of that generation (my dad was one). Anyway. I could go on and on about this. Could you? What is your experience with women of this generation?
In the meantime, as my mom so bluntly advised when I shared with her the story of what happened with my MIL last night, “don’t waste your energy on crazy.” Seriously…don’t let these broken people into your lives when they’re sick ‘cause they will try to break you too, and they often succeed. They’ll get into your head and rot you from the inside out.
(Mother’s Day is a week away. If you’ve been truly hurt by your mother, I know it must be a hard day for you, and my heart breaks with yours.)