It devours me until my heart aches in longing and grief. You were like a mesa too vertical to climb. You were the smell of desert rain I couldn't inhale enough of, elusive and solemn and captivating in your intangibility.Read More
"Sometimes the sadness creeps in and I spend time comforting him and hugging and holding him, telling him not to be sad and that everything will be okay. Sometimes my life feels so surreal I feel like I'm floating outside my body watching me moving effortlessly through the motions. I keep drifting back to preconceived notions in my head of what two people who have spent the last 14 years of their lives together who are going through the first steps of separating should look like. And no part of my life resembles or mirrors those notions."Read More
It's startling and even profoundly jarring how suddenly feelings of such fear and crushing defeat can sneak up on me; how small and alone I can feel in this painfully short and so quickly passing lifetime.
Sometimes life is nothing but a blur. Sometimes I think I'm predisposed to my father's eventual hopeless and fundamentally relenting inclination.
(Or worse even, my mother's living fear of being simply alone with herself.)Read More
"But things between us are too hard. Sometimes it's nice and weird and feels like everything's normal. Sometime's it's brutal and full of emotion and doubt, and sadness and 'What's wrong with me's' and 'Why won't you just stay's.'"Read More