I haven’t felt the unease of discontent or is-this-where-I-belong inquisitions I had grown so accustomed to in previous chapters in enough time that I finally took notice. Suddenly the asphalt under my feet became air and I was floating. And then fear tore me from the clouds and returned me to the bitter earth.Read More
The trip was of course, wonderful, until the last 30 minutes of the drive home when Serenica's engine began stalling on us whenever we'd drop beneath a certain speed (hoping it's a minor fix!). Fortunately, after stalling out on several occasions and getting it restarted again, she died right inside our RV storage lot gate and wouldn't turn over.Read More
Two days ago on Friday (May 5th), I married my very best friend.Read More
Be with a man that changes your assumptions about fate,
about destiny and probability.
Be with a man who gives you faith, or takes it,
So long as he affects it.
I think every woman has a dear friend who can't appreciate her own beauty. In fact, I think nearly every woman is a woman who can't appreciate her own beauty. How many women do you personally know like that? Even more important, how long have you been looking in the mirror and cursing what you see?Read More
We came from nothing, you know, from sand and mineral, from water and air, from the dying stars we grieved long before time ever was.I think I’m still in mourning. My body has always sensed the loss.Read More
I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive the 15 years of time that existed between knowing you and loving you; but maybe it’s hollow lamenting not-knowings, past lives you were only a part of in obscure ways, or distances we utilized as justifications to exist separately in the universe. It feels wrong indulging such a twinge in my heart over something that finally submerged me in much needed hope, happiness, love, and fruition, because I’m anything but ungrateful.Read More
“When we get out of the glass bottle of our ego and when we escape like the squirrels in the cage of our personality and get into the forest again, we shall shiver with cold and fright. But things will happen to us so that we don’t know ourselves. Cool, unlying life will rush in.” —D. H. LawrenceRead More
You're like a walking sun, but maybe it's not a big deal. Maybe it's not a big deal that you take care of me in ways foreign to me, that I can physically feel your love for me emanating from every pore of your body, that it's you and me against the world.Read More
Last night we hung out in the kitchen partaking in fridge poetry. Dear universe, sometimes it's too sweet and good to be true.Read More
I was born looking for you. I was born in fragments, permeable and porous. I was taught that we are each whole persons, that we are not halves seeking to be made whole, that no other body could complete our own.Read More
Little girls are truly magical, aren't they? Well, that's my opinion since I don't personally have one and thus get to run away laughing maniacally into the sunset when the impressive temper tantrums and glistening little girl tears start flooding the streets of Denver.Read More
In the years it takes to double our lifetimes from the onset of our days as silly teenagers, I'll watch you profess your love and devotion to a lucky gentleman with a handlebar mustache on the banks of the Rio Grande, ablaze and glowing with the heat of the Fall desert sun. Your beautiful and brilliantly white dress, shimmering and dancing with each affectionate word you utter in the direction of impending and hopeful days, your relentless tears waging cyclonic wars behind the barriers of your reinforced but dampened eyes. Every word, a promise, every syllable a solemn prayer.Read More
There is nothing I can say about the trees to describe them to you if you've never seen them or found yourself in their presence. I hope you trust in my sincerity when I announce my satisfaction at that realization. It's true. I'm so utterly contented knowing there are places in this world that lie outside the boundaries of articulated description, places you simply have to see and feel and experience to know.Read More
"When love is not madness it is not love.” —Pedro Calderón de la BarcaRead More
Every child wants to know that their parents not only love them but love each other. I have small fuzzy memories of what could have been love between my mother and father: laughter, tickling, pet names, but those small moments had all faded and died before I was out of elementary school. From that point on until my father shot himself, my parents were strangers to each other at their best and bitter enemies at their worst.Read More
When I was still a teenager, I bought a beautiful book showcasing some of the most gorgeous nude and erotic photographs of the time. It was phenomenal, and it only fueled my passion for photo documentation of the female body. Anyway, on the first page there was a a graceful but delicate quote about how all photographs are essentially about love. And I loved that quote. It alludes me now and a quick google search yields no results, but I know I still own the book. Someday soon I'll find it.Read More
We would meet in a chatroom in 1997 when were just teenagers. We’d grow close and in 1998 when my father killed himself, Mike would become one of the only people I could talk to about it. I would read his sweet words on the screen, grieving over the loss, sinking into my swelling isolation and wishing I could disappear into his strong arms. I quietly fell in love with him then but he lived in Philly and I lived in New Mexico, and 2,000 miles is enormous to two kids with no means to cross it.Read More
“What it is...is a place where I can return to myself. It's enough of a scramble to get to...that the energy expended is significant, and it translates into a change in my body chemistry and my psychological chemistry and my heart chemistry...”Read More
It really is true what they say, isn't it? You think you'll never change from the person you are when you're 15, 18, 21, 25, 30... but you DO, friends. You really do. I think I've finally reached an age in which I understand the older generation's contempt for youth. Kids really don't know a damn thing.
Hopefully I'm still young enough to be humbled by that realization.Read More