You Are a Motherf*%$ing Force / October 10, 2019 by Rebecca Tillett

As of today, it’s been one whole entire huge tiny long quick gigantic short surreal transformative passionate trying wonderful exhausting year since I first got to look into your big eyes, baby
I am still gobsmacked by the strange magic of it all. Strange, shiny, messy, beautiful, incomprehensible magic.

Little Lists / August 31, 2019 by Rebecca Tillett

Things I love:
The way she dances to Queen
Her laugh, her big toothless grin
Giving kisses with her forehead
The Hannibal Lecter thing she does with her tongue

There is Only Light / August 12, 2019 by Rebecca Tillett

I am much more protective of my feelings on motherhood than anything else in life. I am still working on unraveling just why exactly. I suspect because they are not always overwhelmingly exuberant, which I feel mothers rarely see mirrored or represented outside the darkest recesses of our minds. We are inundated with nothing but the happy wonderfulness so there is a built-in shame in feeling anything but, perhaps.

Moments of Doubt and Darkness / April 18, 2019 by Rebecca Tillett

Lately I’ve drowned in thoughts and anxieties that shout the words: why-is-this-so-fucking-hard & why-aren’t-I-stronger into my own echo chamber and then I remember something I read recently that really resonated: Sleep deprivation is an actual kind of torture. It is. and needlessly, I had surrendered to moments of doubt and darkness about the strength of my family and our resolve and our indestructibility as a unit but especially about mine and my husband’s status as a team. But only because I did not truly respect the intensity of the obstacles we’ve faced. And cleared.

Teeny Meeny / April 2, 2019 by Rebecca Tillett

I have to resist sharing every damn day because my phone is FILLED with photos and videos of her.

Mina Rumi's Birth Story [Graphic] / March 23, 2019 by Rebecca Tillett

Mina Rumi Tillett O’Shaughnessy was due October 29th, 2018 but she was born just past 2 in the afternoon on October 10th, very nearly 3 weeks early. This is the story of her early arrival.

Eternities Exist Between Dawn and Dusk / March 10, 2019 by Rebecca Tillett

his sweet babe is 5 months old today. Time passes so quickly, I’m always left with the tragic relentless feeling that I’m not fully appreciating or as present for every precious moment as I should be. For her, the days are still long enduring intervals in which eternities exist between dawn and dusk. For me, it feels as if every morning I have awoken from a long coma and she seems so much older than the baby I put to sleep the night before. It’s one of the hardest parts of motherhood for me.

Everything to Lose / February 24, 2019 by Rebecca Tillett

I haven’t felt the unease of discontent or is-this-where-I-belong inquisitions I had grown so accustomed to in previous chapters in enough time that I finally took notice. Suddenly the asphalt under my feet became air and I was floating. And then fear tore me from the clouds and returned me to the bitter earth.

Little Chick / November 28, 2018 by Rebecca Tillett

The days are long but the weeks are short and the months turn to dust in the palms of my helpless hands.
This little chick is 7 weeks old today. And I am finally getting accustomed to this chaos.

She's Having a Baby / November 24, 2012 by Rebecca Tillett

I shot my beautiful friend Britt and her husband today. It was actually the first time I really got to stretch the legs of my new Canon 5D Mark III since my husband got it for me for my birthday a full month ago. Needless to say, life has been a little crazy these days. Me and so many around me are stepping into new chapters and I suppose that's necessary and that's life. The only thing constant is change, after all. Nothing ever stays the same which I've always found bittersweet. I wish Britt and Brennen all the luck in the world in their new adventures in Seattle. I sure as hell am gonna miss them. And as a sidenote: This camera is damn amazing. I hope I'm badass enough to handle it...