Bloomed by Rebecca Tillett

How often do you do something that absolutely terrifies you? I've done 2 such things in the last week. I believed in myself enough to go after something I never would have throughout past versions of me, something that scared me but something I knew with every beating fiber of my heart that I could do and was more than qualified to do. I'm much more confident now, more comfortable with who I am and what I'm capable of, more ready for challenges and opportunities to lead.

Read More

Internal Discourse by Rebecca Tillett

Try not to let the world get in your way. You were never part of it. You never wanted to be a part of it. Do what you want, do what you need to. What do you need? Breathe. Remember you're never alone. You're completely alone. You're completely alone. You're not soft. You're unappealing. You know you've never really fit in anywhere or with anyone. You're alone. You're lonely. You're fat. Smile more. Breathe.

Read More

Words and Daughters by Rebecca Tillett

"15 years ago a man moved into the next step.7 and a quarter centuries earlier, another man traveled on too. Their deeds, their lives, even their words and daughters are beautiful echoes. "The future is ours - it's ours to choose." - Clay Tillett "What you seek is seeking you." - Jalal ad-Dīn Muhammad Balkhi... better known as Rumi. This can be a hard day, but I think you know happiness today. The fact that you can feel it today, means you can feel it any day. I'm grateful to be a part of it. I would tell your dad that you are an incredible friend. I'd tell him you are a great human being. That you've grown into an amazing woman. I'd tell him how in love with you I am, and pray I've done good by you, and continue to. I'd hope he found me worthy. I love you, Becky. I'll never stop." —M. O'Shaughnessy

Read More

Today I Now Have Two by Rebecca Tillett

"It's said that you can not control the depth of a wound another soul inflicts upon you. But you can certainly control the depth of the wound you inflict on someone else. Since the age of 16 I've only had one regret: that I didn't tell my father goodnight and ignored him the night he shot himself. Starting today I now have two.

That I've so deeply hurt the one person I've loved the most in this world."

Read More

Half Yelling, Half Crying by Rebecca Tillett

"He was distraught. He was filled with rage for the guy. He was worried about me. He said 'I had a bad feeling about you staying with him. I knew you shouldn't have stayed with him! I always knew he was a scumbag! Why didn't you listen to me?? Why did this happen!?' He was half yelling, half crying. I was bawling. I was apologizing. I should have listened. I should have listened. He's always right. He apologized. 'None of this is your fault. None of this is your fault.'"

Read More

He May Be the Hurricane by Rebecca Tillett

He may be the hurricane but it's me that's breaking, crumbling, falling apart in his wake.

I'm going to be there until the very end though, I've decided. And I refuse to leave, under any circumstances, unless he asks me to. Because he needs me, we need each other. Honestly, neither of us can picture a life without the other. There IS no life without the other. I'm certain it's unhealthy how needy each of one another we really are. But that's always been a common theme in my life: emotional instability. We're all human after all and what's life without love? At all costs. It's always worth it.

Read More

To Haunt Me by Rebecca Tillett

While I’ve rested on a decision and today is the first day
in many that I’m starting to feel like myself again –
I realize I’ll be dealing with this long after it’s over.
I’ll be looking into seeing a counselor sometime in the
near future to help me come to terms with not only this
but with everything else in my life that continues to haunt me.
I absolutely must move on from these things.
As I have no more free hands for any extra emotional baggage.

Read More