134//365 / by Rebecca Tillett

134//365
134//365

(134//365) I wish I could just come home and make everything alright for you. I wish I wouldn't regret not taking a chance and wonder for years ahead if I did that. I wish we were better for each other. I wish this journey I've taken to get some questions answered for myself wasn't hurting you so deeply in the process. I wish I'd realized how much you loved me when we were together. I wished I'd felt it. I wish you'd understood how much I needed that from you. I wish I'd given you more of a warning of how lonely I usually felt with you, given you a chance to love me like I needed. I wish I could go back in time and make better decisions. I wish nothing but happiness and contentment for you. I wish you weren't having such a hard time in life right now. I wish you knew that no matter what, I'm always here. I'm not going anywhere. And I'll never stop loving you. I wish you realized how difficult this is for me as well. I wish it wasn't. I wish sometimes that we absolutely hated each other because I feel like it would make things easier sometimes. I wish we could continue being the friends we have been the last 15 years..because at its core, it's what we've always been and done best. I wish I didn't miss you. I'll always miss you. I'm still trying to figure out who I am without you.