Twenty years ago today I awoke to a world without my dad. He’d shot himself in the head in the next room while I slept. There’s something dreamlike about heading to bed one insignificant evening—with a father,— and waking the next morning without one; having someone and then so suddenly losing them.Read More
My grandmother is too great a force to be eulogized.
Instead, I only want to share a fraction of what I’ve learned from her.
Have I ever told you that my grandmother was a bird and wildlife rehabilitator? That she eventually became known as the "bird lady" in Las Cruces? Have I ever told you that my grandfather joined NASA at the Manned Spacecraft Center in Houston in 1962, then in 1963 transferred to the White Sands Test Facility near Las Cruces, known then as the "Apollo Site?" That he served first as Chief of the Test Operations Branch, then as Chief of the Propulsion Test Office, where he oversaw the development and qualification testing of the rocket propulsion systems used on the Apollo Service Module and Lunar Module, leading to mankind's first steps on the Moon in 1969?Read More
Maybe she has her head in the clouds, maybe she hides it there instead. But maybe this isn’t about her or her head. Maybe it’s about a woman’s body holding up the sky, the stars, the universe.Read More
I'm on a journey to find my purpose. I haven't yet figured out if it's something I carelessly lost along the way somewhere a few miles back, a few years back, a few spins back or if it's something I've never truly had a firm grasp on - purpose has always felt like a moth or a butterfly fluttering by me occasionally. If I'm lucky, every now and then I'll cage it between my hands, marveling at it's elusive beauty but it always escapes, fluttering away to be caged by others inevitably.Read More
My selves, my being, my love, my pain
Trudging through madness but desperate to keep sane
Stuck between darkness and everything illuminated
I, the accomplice in these suicides perpetrated
And from the cadaver, wretched self-disdain
and from the cadaver, only grace will remain.
Rebecca Tillett + Cassie Dixon + Lazy Spring Afternoon in Las Cruces + Crazy $3 Wig + Vintage $5 dress + Makeup + Mismatched Ribbons + Abandoned Home with Amazing Light in the Middle of Pecan Trees and Nowhere = What You See here.Read More
Anybody who really knows me knows my growing-up years were a bit tumultuous. My dad was a troubled alcoholic battling some pretty horrific demons. I was a painfully shy only child who morphed into a painfully shy, self-destructive and severely depressed teenager. I remember writing in my journal around the age of 15 that I absolutely would not make it past the age of 19. I'd planned to end it as soon as I found the courage because if what I'd experienced thus far was "life" why bother living much longer? It was all so terribly sad - how unhappy I was growing up and how little desire I had to be happy. In my defense, I think I just didn't know how.Read More
Back in the days of Hendrix, Iron Butterfly, Steppenwolf, Black Sabbath, Grand Funk, Yes, and Led Zeppelin, these guys were kids who were writing their own music. Although they were young, these boys were contemporaries with the big bands of the 70s and 80s. C.S. Truckin opened shows for Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow (Deep Purple), REO Speedwagon, Quicksilver Messenger Service, Brian Auger and The Buddy Miles Band (Jimi Hendrix).Read More
This was the second set I did with my cousin Rachel (technically the third but the second failed). Despite some frustrating circumstances (neighbor girl coming over to continuously borrow my cell phone and then inviting us to a party, shop-owner coming out to see what we're up to, rain, darkness falling) I think we got a couple great shots. Gotta love Las Cruces.Read More
I made a quick trip down to my hometown in New Mexico this weekend and shot my youngest cousin Rachel while I was there. She's a swimmer and goes to school at UNLV but was home visiting friends and family while she could this summer. She's always willing to pose for me and while I'm sure she has no serious modeling aspirations, she definitely has some amazing natural ability. She must get it from her sister who's been modeling for me for years.Read More