I think like so many others, I have these moments, these days or weeks or sometimes even months where I'm doubting myself in some tormenting capacity. Is this where I'm supposed to be? Have I been eating all the wrong foods? Have I gotten heavier? Am I spending enough time outside? Will I always be reliant on a desk job for a paycheck? Are there enough people that care about me? Am I proud of myself professionally? Can I call myself an artist? Where has any of it taken me? ("...to Rome?" Thanks for the reminder Kirsten!)
Read MoreSex Swing /
We’re consistently being judged and schooled in the ways of a righteous and moral existence by men who keep mistresses, fuck gay male prostitutes and molest their little sisters, all while voting against laws that would give women, minorities and gays equal rights. It’s one classic case of do as I say, not as I do after another and the obvious and blatant hypocrisy is stomach-churning.
Read MoreThe Burden of Filling the Vacant Spaces /
So many never wake with clenched jaws, with jagged teeth newly softened and smoothed and transformed to powder. So many have never hosted such a civil war in their mouths. They'll never mourn the fatalities, the wounded, the lost. You'll never crush things between your teeth the way you used to. You acknowledge this.
Read MoreAlmost Like God /
Every child wants to know that their parents not only love them but love each other. I have small fuzzy memories of what could have been love between my mother and father: laughter, tickling, pet names, but those small moments had all faded and died before I was out of elementary school. From that point on until my father shot himself, my parents were strangers to each other at their best and bitter enemies at their worst.
Read MoreNaked in the Woods /
What if this is Heaven? What if this our reward for being good in a life of bleakness and despair, darkness, and savagery? What if we, holy, starved while all the others ate each other before turning themselves inside out and rotting to waste in the pulsing sun? What if earth is paradise?
Read MoreLumiere Tintype /
Last week my boyfriend, Mike and I had the pleasure of catching Adrian with Lumiere Tintype Photography during his summer road-trip stop here in Denver. I've always always always wanted a tintype portrait so my excitement at this can hardly be contained. I'll surely treasure this photo for many years to come.
Read MoreThe Lover's Gift /
When I was still a teenager, I bought a beautiful book showcasing some of the most gorgeous nude and erotic photographs of the time. It was phenomenal, and it only fueled my passion for photo documentation of the female body. Anyway, on the first page there was a a graceful but delicate quote about how all photographs are essentially about love. And I loved that quote. It alludes me now and a quick google search yields no results, but I know I still own the book. Someday soon I'll find it.
Read MoreConquered Hearts /
Happy 2nd Birthday to dear Adalynn, my good friend Kristin's little girl, the sweetest note in the melody of her parents' lives!
Read MoreDissident Women (an Hommage to Fearlessness) /
I've assumed the new role of columnist for Fluffer Magazine and the newest issue is now out!
Read MoreYou Were Born to Love /
Love without apology, without reservation, without fear, without safety and security and that hard shell you swore no one would ever crack. Love without boundary, without apprehension and cynicism and timidity over exposing the soft part of your flesh. Love like it's the last time you'll ever love because this life is much too short to waste such a precious commodity. You were born to love. Anything else is wasted potential.
Read MoreHow Deeply I Loved Him /
We would meet in a chatroom in 1997 when were just teenagers. We’d grow close and in 1998 when my father killed himself, Mike would become one of the only people I could talk to about it. I would read his sweet words on the screen, grieving over the loss, sinking into my swelling isolation and wishing I could disappear into his strong arms. I quietly fell in love with him then but he lived in Philly and I lived in New Mexico, and 2,000 miles is enormous to two kids with no means to cross it.
Read MoreLove in Utah /
“What it is...is a place where I can return to myself. It's enough of a scramble to get to...that the energy expended is significant, and it translates into a change in my body chemistry and my psychological chemistry and my heart chemistry...”
Read MoreI am an Artist /
"It has been 14 years since I first picked up a paintbrush. And I spent much of that time feeling like an imposter. I didn’t study art or illustration formally in school. I did not follow traditional pathways to get where I am. Most of what I do most days I taught myself how to do. I don’t even know most of the time if there is better or easier or 'more right' way to do what I do."
Read MoreLike Paintings /
Don't you love photographs that look like paintings? I can hear your heart beating in the trees, baby, they're all pulsing so steadily and in rhythmic unison. Let's crawl under the blanket of snow and hide until the warmth of Spring thaws our frozen grip on each other's necks.
Read MoreRejected /
I don't often blog about my design for a multitude of ambiguous reasons, I suppose. Most notably, probably, is that it's my bread and butter, and also because it seems unlikely that anyone outside the audience of the piece I've designed would find it particularly interesting. But sometimes, as a professional graphic designer, the knowledge of all the pieces I've designed that have and will never see the light of day because the client didn't share your vision or embrace something maybe a little bit edgier than they're used to can feel absolutely defeating.
Read MoreDecriminalize Nipples /
Miley Cyrus is reportedly a huge proponent of the #freethenipple campaign so I had some fun with this one! Video of the drawing process below.
DECRIMINALIZE THE FEMALE BODY. #freethenipple
Read MoreLola Roja /
She pranced and she skipped and she romped through the woods
On toward gramma's house as quick as she could
When out of the shadows a wolf did appear
But our dulce mijita sensed danger was near
She cried "Come mierda y muerte, cabrón!"
And smashed him over the head with a rather large stone
Killed that wolf dead, right where he stood
Then onward she strolled, our Lola Red Riding Hood
Tragic Dimension of Human Existence /
“As a divinity always ‘associated with the tragic dimension of human existence,’ she sees in Sekhmet’s face ‘the look of someone who sees the irreducible tragedy of life which she can do nothing to avert and which, indeed, she knows she herself has helped bring about – but who does not hide from the pain.”
Fuck a Writer /
"Have sex with a writer because she chooses art over money, even if she’s always complaining about being broke. Unclasp her bra because she’s 31 and still living with three roommates, squeaking by on rent, sliding by on bills, bartending a few nights, working in a bookstore, doing odd jobs, hustling; all because she’s convinced that she will create something masterful that may one day make all of this worth it. Pull off her jeans because you admire the sacrifices she makes to do what she loves, knowing you could never do the same. Fuck a writer because she shivers and starves for her chance to carve her name on the world.” —broke-ass stuart
Read MoreAdios Facebook /
On Friday night I was once again notified by Facebook that I had been reported for nudity and the content had subsequently been removed. Also, not only that but this time, I would be banned from using Facebook for 24 hours, thus effectively treating me like a child who'd been badly behaving and deserved to have their toy taken away as punishment.
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