Little girls never dream of these days; these days complete with crack, needles, and whores. Fucking to survive, fucking to prove everyone wrong. Fucking to exude power, lust, SEX and immortality. I never dreamed of these days. I was going to be a ballerina, a writer, a photographer, a journalist for Christ's sake. I never hoped for days of cum, cheaters, and takers, blood, butchers, and criminals. Regular customers love me. They get what they want, they get their money's worth. Two knocks and a whisper and I'm in, out and paid in ten minutes. Seedy motels, middle class suburbia - it's all the fucking same. These dicks need a good fuck, I need my money and their wives their rebuttal, their denial, their status.
Read Morepoetry and prose
The Words (book project/no. 2) /
The words, the words trickled up from my throat
chitchaty insects careful not to misquote
declaring out loud what I’d previously wrote
The words, the words trickled up from my throat
The words, the words escaped from my mouth
dripping with moisture after the drought
like a companionless intentional crane flying south
The words, the words escaped from my mouth
Beastly Child (book project/no. 1) /
Beastly child, you’re less adored
small, deformed, homely, abhorred
Teeth like a broken window pane
It’s ok, child, you need not explain
It’s fine child, don’t mind a great deal
You’ll never have much appeal
Hayseed Invasion /
These little girls that rise from corn fields bold & busting at the
seams with hazy expectations unreceptive to the lives &
movements of those growing & dying before them.
Sallys, Emmys, & Maryanns they think they know it all, they
do. Proclamations of youth too ripe to pick but much too
mouthwatering to pass by. Tomorrow’s another day& another
day of bursting skulls and spoiled greens.
You'll Never Live This Life That I Live. /
I'm thinking I really have nowhere else to go. I'm thinking I've become that person. I'm thinking a lot lately about God, a god, another plane of existence, another dimension, an afterlife, everyone we ever loved - now gone. I'm thinking I could die at this very moment and every question I've ever really had could be answered. I'm thinking my bones are aching and you look exhausted. I'm thinking you have dark circles under your eyes and I'm covered in cuts and bruises. I'm thinking everything's always for looks, for appearances, I'm thinking rain always brings out the doubts and hopelessness in me - but I wouldn't give it up for anything else in the world. I'm thinking everyone's moving forward and I'm standing still.
Read MoreBig Fish /
Big fish in little pond will soon be swimming at sea
I was a human collage, with your name all over my arms.
It took you years to realize they were talking about me
But it was just play pretend, never did any harm
You said I’m incapable of growing; smile
You were never good at coping with change
Or really a single thing that alters your lifestyle
I always did find it somewhat strange
I Love the Desert in the Fall /
Remember when we were young
little road-trips here and there
through Colorado in the summer, in the fall
driving home, going HOME
infinite blades of grass looking frail, dying.
to New Mexico
I love the desert in the fall
Makeshift crosses on every sharp bend
with names and years and "rest in peace"
Bobcat workin' at the Chama Chevron
Old gas stations now libraries
and unfortunate cats and dogs in pieces
on the highway
Close your eyes, close your eyes.
Sometimes it's much too easy to look away.
Read MoreJettison /
Accustomed to yesterday's remains,
tomorrow's fears and the deaths of today,
in time and thought and hypotheticals.
I couldn't grasp your disappearance,
the world minus you, minus love.
and with your corpse on my floor
and no mess to clean I'm bemused;
s to how to open my eyes to a new beginning.
Rages Every Theft /
Before the thirst rages every theft
and you consume it all
Leaving me with nothing left
Before the hunger threatens every love
and we surrender ourselves
and everything we’re made of
Before you threaten every me
with promises of stillness and vacancy
and the looming death of us
Remember without you I can’t be.
Read MoreLittle Miss /
The old mill dies on top of the trash
Yet Little Miss hardly bats an eyelash
So much of that dirty shit has left a rash
Scrapes, bruises and whiplash
And so the royal civilian decides
After all he never took sides
Like a good little boy he always abides
By the rules, never mind the landslides
And so Little Miss dodges a threat ‘
cause she hasn’t touched that dang trash yet
Just thinkin’ about it gets her upset
Fucking pile always blocks the sunset
Royal civilian’s washed his hands of it all
Broken bottles, typewriter keys, toys and dolls
Couldn’t get it all done before nightfall
That old mill was nothing but an ugly catchall
Seven Feet /
7' and quickly sinking
7 seconds from sleep to blinking
7 times and no more tries
7 days, seven sighs
7 years and twenty nine
7 more 6 sublime.
Mia /
Even pretty girls cry.
She told me I was lying.
As long as it abstains from poetic incoherence,
slaughterhouses, and pretty pigs in pretty wings.
Even pretty girls cry.
and momma lives in twilight,
where denial rings loudly.
“She’s gonna be a star. She’s gonna be a star.”
Piece of Me /
You know me, every bit and piece of me
Every bit and piece of you speaks. Loudly
to me and you always know, you always knew
Though you never wanted to
You laughed, you played, you smiled
Not typically soft and mild
You were my eyes, my ears, my beating dripping heart
You were, from the start
from the very start of time
You, me, sweet sublime
I loved you all the time
Between love and hate, yesterday and tomorrow
I’ll love you in the meantime
You’re this and that, here and there
I’ll love you everywhere
Even when I’m not there
Read MoreThis Virgin War /
Because I need you smiling
& crying & dying on the inside & vying
& craving & paining & screaming
me, beaming & gleaming
because baby, I’m numb & sedated
if I’m not dreaming.
Because baby, you told me you loved me
& baby, I believed every word
but why wouldn’t I; it wasn’t absurd.
Every human ear had heard.
Because ears have legs
& scatter like plagues.
Hallway Broad /
Sometimes I sneak-a-peak through cracked doors;
sneaking out of bed and tip-toeing through the thick green forest of carpet.
Like watching a crime scene I stare so hard I put holes through bone.
Her jet black hair and hazel eyes leave me hypnotized with lust, with envy, with hunger.
Ruthless /
No one said you have to grow up.
No one said you have to grow tired.
Life is looking bleak these days.
ut it's always nice to be desired.
You Can Make it Last, Forever You /
I remember what it was like to feel;
to swallow, to heave.
I remember the sensation of sensation,
feeling satisfied at losing heart
because I was losing something,
because I was feeling something.
I remember the small-city-lit walls;
the orange glow igniting the dark black sky;
broken only by dancing glittered flecks.
The smoldering moon lighting my way.
I remember the wet grass against the soles of my feet,
laughing about nothing; running from nothing.
Defunked Jezebel /
Curled lips at dollar signs
bloated egos and sixty-nines
less than 22-inch waistlines
Faces in the headlines
Never early never late
Never wanting you to wait
Never known for sixty-eight
Never underestimate.
Flimsy /
It was 1971 - and I floated home like paper;
craving yesterday and doc holidays,
but you weren't there and suddenly -
I understood alone.
Thank you but you've done nothing for me.
Hello /
“Sometimes he bangs his head against the wall until blood pours from his ears and delusions of what never was dance before his eyes and angry ghosts materialize.”
“It’s real. Hello. I can’t feel…no." She’s never satisfied. She was never satisfied. She’s never happy. She’s never in love. She never loved me. She sliced her throat. She can’t leave me alone. She’s watching me. She’s never happy
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