journal and writing

Meet April /  by Rebecca Tillett

I recently acquired a new tattoo, a cover-up of my very first tattoo I got at the age of 18 which was a crappy little fairy. My friend and tattoo artist Shanna inked it on me and my cousin Cassie drew this one up for me. Isn't she adorable? I think I've decided to name her April. To see more of Cassie's outstanding illustrations, visit her website: http://cassie-dixon.com/ and to see some examples of Shanna's work visit the Pens and Needles Facebook page.

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Process Undress /  by Rebecca Tillett

A friend and commenter on this lovely blog of mine recently asked to see a before and after example of one of my recent refurbished images and I am happily obliging. Time must be changing me because this is something I would have never previously been really comfortable doing. This is most definitely because I consider the image straight out of my camera unfinished work and have always felt the original impression and opinion of the finished image would then be compromised. Quite like seeing a "making-of" special on a good movie. As interesting as I find them I also believe they kind of ruin the magic of the movie itself. I also don't like the prospect of having to defend my raw images to "REAL" pompous photographers who take every opportunity to tell every poor soul who'll listen that their work is "straight out of the camera" and "has not been touched by Photoshop at all" in a simultaneous effort to put themselves on a pedestal and insult those of us who use and enjoy Photoshop like film photographers of the past used and enjoyed darkrooms.

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Party Pooper /  by Rebecca Tillett

I've been re-visiting many old series' these days for the purpose of re-editing. It's really pretty fun and in the end I almost feel like I have brand new images. Sometimes, it's impossible for me to be satisfied with much of my older work. It's bland, boring and has been seen a thousand times. I really need to learn to appreciate and respect my past, I think. Anyway, this is, of course, Jessalyn, who seems to be thriving in Australia, by the way. She has a blog documenting her "secondment" over there which can be both interesting and amusing at times.

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Craft Day /  by Rebecca Tillett

Today my good friend Britt came over for what I've dubbed "Craft Day." We've been experimenting with wood as a canvas and using spray paint, cut-outs, and stencils. Today was our second go at it. We were somewhat successful at our first go-round a few weeks ago but today was a dismal failure. I think all we ended up accomplishing was ruining a few pieces of perfectly good wood. However, I think we'll get better with time but I have more faith in Britt than myself. Contrary to what I would assume is popular belief, I absolutely and completely suck at the whole crafty thing. My hand-eye coordination completely fail me when it comes to things like exacto knives and glue and producing an aesthetically pleasing product. I might as well face it, although I'm drawn to all things past and vintage, I am and will forever be grateful for my computer and the digital world is where I'm really and truly at home.

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Superfluous Pursuits /  by Rebecca Tillett

It's another Sunday night and I'm imagining a future world in which all labor is done by robots leaving humans free to pursue intellectual, artistic, and other superfluous pursuits. We'll all live rich and abundant lives leaving nothing to be desired and will die fulfilled and regret-free at the ripe old age of 125. This is the ideal future world that exists in my head and I am of course, hoping it would not so strongly parallel Asimov's I, Robot but I digress. I'm really just avoiding bed because I'm avoiding Monday as well as the entire work-week. I hate Sunday nights.

Why, oh why can't we all just do what we wanna do? It's a shame that so much of our lives are spent simply surviving.

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"Time" for pictures /  by Rebecca Tillett

Every now and then I go on these creative benders when something as simple as a kitchen utensil can inspire me and I tend to embrace them because I also go through periodic artistic dry-spells in which I create absolutely nothing for months and can't even be bothered to look at a photograph let alone create one. So I may start losing sleep because I'm staying up until 2am working on a new series and then getting up at 7am for work, I'm producing so many photos it's typical that I produce some mediocre ones, and my husband and I become VIPs at Chipotle and Chik-fil-a because I only have time for art but all of that's fine with me because I realize it's only a matter of time before this drive, this incredible inspiration completely fades leaving me to wonder if it'll ever return.

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Hints of Red and What I Love /  by Rebecca Tillett

I've always loved the texture of tattooed skin and the contrast of fabric on skin but especially tattooed skin. I've also always loved a large depth of field but I tend to love my wide-angle lens more which is why this shot and this series look absolutely nothing like most of my work. When I began shooting nude(ish) photography about 12 years ago, close-up more abstract shots were my forte. When I transitioned from film to digital my tastes widened, literally, and I decided I much preferred to capture scenes to just body parts.

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Run and Tell That /  by Rebecca Tillett

I spent the day with Jessalyn, quite a fabulous (but semi-retired) model and one of my dear friends. I have the kind of relationship with her that I yearn and hope for with every model I photograph. To clarify: most of my "models" are originally friends simply because I shoot much better photos with people I'm close to and am comfortable with so I tend to reach out to them first when I need a subject (even if they've never modeled or are inexperienced). On a more infrequent basis, my models began as models and became friends and this is the case with Jessie.

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Photo Cliché or Nay /  by Rebecca Tillett

This past Saturday I shot my friend Brandice. It was only her second time modeling (her first time was for me as well) and her ease in front of the camera this time compared to last was just jaw-dropping. Originally we had no plan for this shoot...well, aside from renting an old motel room which was quickly scratched after being warned by a multitude of co-workers of the likely potential for bed-bugs. So we set out for the wide-open fields of Falcon, a place I've shot several times in the past but discovered this old car on the way, instead. I owe the ultimate decision to cross private-property lines to my good friend Kristin who has acted as my "assistant" on several of my past shoots. 

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In Sweetness and Love /  by Rebecca Tillett

In Sweetness and Love is 160 pages of absolutely stunning Kodachrome photographs taken in the mid 1950s to 1960s by my great-grandparents John and Mabel Moore accompanied by poignant quotes, lyrics, and excerpts.

They spent as much time traveling as they did at home and locations captured include Wyoming, California, New Mexico, Hawaii, New York, Guam, Arizona, and the Philippines.

My sincerest gratitude to them for their diligence in documenting their later years and thus providing me with such a vivid glimpse into the beautifully small but significant intricacies of their wonderful lives 60 years later.

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You'll Never Live This Life That I Live. /  by Rebecca Tillett

I'm thinking I really have nowhere else to go. I'm thinking I've become that person. I'm thinking a lot lately about God, a god, another plane of existence, another dimension, an afterlife, everyone we ever loved - now gone. I'm thinking I could die at this very moment and every question I've ever really had could be answered. I'm thinking my bones are aching and you look exhausted. I'm thinking you have dark circles under your eyes and I'm covered in cuts and bruises. I'm thinking everything's always for looks, for appearances, I'm thinking rain always brings out the doubts and hopelessness in me - but I wouldn't give it up for anything else in the world. I'm thinking everyone's moving forward and I'm standing still. 

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Between Us Was Gone /  by Rebecca Tillett

"We talked about all the plans we had growing up -and the fact that we followed through with none of them. We laughed about all kinds of things. and for the first time in years I felt like we were 11 years old again and all that rough history we have between us was gone; like we started over with a clean slate, with no past except the pretty pieces no one ever wants to forget."

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