journal and writing

Half Yelling, Half Crying by Rebecca Tillett

"He was distraught. He was filled with rage for the guy. He was worried about me. He said 'I had a bad feeling about you staying with him. I knew you shouldn't have stayed with him! I always knew he was a scumbag! Why didn't you listen to me?? Why did this happen!?' He was half yelling, half crying. I was bawling. I was apologizing. I should have listened. I should have listened. He's always right. He apologized. 'None of this is your fault. None of this is your fault.'"

Read More

Recent Snaps by Rebecca Tillett

I wanted to share a couple of my favorite photos from some recent shoots. The first is my good friend Kathy's daughter who needed some senior portraits. Maddie and I had such a good time on this shoot. All she knew was she didn't want "anything typical" in the world of senior portraits and all I knew was her and I were in complete agreement on that desire. The second is Pepper Greene, one-third of the Hawkins/Greene family, whom graciously allowed me to stay with them in Phoenix last week.

Read More

For Now, Relentlessly Onward by Rebecca Tillett

I'm on a journey to find my purpose. I haven't yet figured out if it's something I carelessly lost along the way somewhere a few miles back, a few years back, a few spins back or if it's something I've never truly had a firm grasp on - purpose has always felt like a moth or a butterfly fluttering by me occasionally. If I'm lucky, every now and then I'll cage it between my hands, marveling at it's elusive beauty but it always escapes, fluttering away to be caged by others inevitably.

Read More

Craven Art by Rebecca Tillett

On Saturday I shot a wonderful Denver-based artist who hired me to take some portraits of her in her studio. Angela Craven is a beautiful, funny, and interesting abstract painter in her free time and a software designer m-f to pay the bills. And I am exceedingly jealous of her studio space. A big open sunroom that's gorgeous, bright and open. I've never been hired for a shoot of this kind so I was really excited to do it and I'm thrilled with the results.

Read More

Broken Home by Rebecca Tillett

I love urban exploration; exploring abandoned man-made locations. A week or two ago, my friend Jessalyn and I had made a plan to explore and shoot in some abandoned homes out in the middle of nowhere north of Denver but I hadn't known yet what exactly I was going to do there. I really opt out of doing much straight fashion photography anymore because I quite simply don't get much satisfaction out of it. It's boring. A few minutes of brainstorming and this idea occurred to me; falling down, broken home with a broken person inside.

Read More

Only Grace Will Remain by Rebecca Tillett

My selves, my being, my love, my pain
Trudging through madness but desperate to keep sane
Stuck between darkness and everything illuminated
I, the accomplice in these suicides perpetrated
And from the cadaver, wretched self-disdain
and from the cadaver, only grace will remain.

Read More

The Guesthouse by Rebecca Tillett

Every great once in a while, my camera and I collide with a model whose confidence and fearlessness know no apparent bounds, someone who isn’t afraid to look silly or stupid or even ridiculous on the gamble that we’ll create a great shot. I‘ve had the pleasure of photographing several amazing women with these bold qualities -and the added fortune of calling them my friends in most cases- in the last 12 years I’ve pursued this passion of mine. And Edie is one of them.

Read More

...On the Way to a Dream by Rebecca Tillett

Truthfully, I'd been looking for a new job for at least a few months beforehand because ultimately I realized I'd become far too comfortable in the position and found myself stewing in all the little negatives that tend to exist within so many companies. So I was very fortunate when a previous coworker (and friend) whom I'd worked alongside for more than 5 years at the Indy offered me a job working with her and the super-sweet owner of the studio. Needless to say I accepted in a heartbeat. (The hardest part of the transition was that I'd be leaving my most favorite boss-and one of my best friends-in the world.)

Read More

She's Having a Baby by Rebecca Tillett

I shot my beautiful friend Britt and her husband today. It was actually the first time I really got to stretch the legs of my new Canon 5D Mark III since my husband got it for me for my birthday a full month ago. Needless to say, life has been a little crazy these days. Me and so many around me are stepping into new chapters and I suppose that's necessary and that's life. The only thing constant is change, after all. Nothing ever stays the same which I've always found bittersweet. I wish Britt and Brennen all the luck in the world in their new adventures in Seattle. I sure as hell am gonna miss them. And as a sidenote: This camera is damn amazing. I hope I'm badass enough to handle it...

Read More

The Great Pacific Northwest by Rebecca Tillett

There's something mysterious and magnificent about the forests up there and I had a feeling of bittersweet sadness but a strong yearning despite it that I couldn't shake. The ocean was beautiful, of course, but it always leaves me feeling a little cold and extremely lonely and I've never craved to be near it as so many others do. The desert is my home and where I'm most comfortable; warm wide open spaces and a clear 360 degree view of the landscape and the horizon and so I confess that being shrouded by so many gargantuan trees left me a little claustrophobic but the entire time it was something I was absolutely certain I could shake or learn to live with it if the opportunity to live up there ever presented itself.

Read More

Shanna & Shiloh by Rebecca Tillett

Last Wednesday I had a shoot with my friend and tattoo artist, Shanna Keyes.
t's something we've been talking about for a while since our last shoot was 2 or 3 years ago or so now. But it always seemed like our schedules wouldn't mesh or she just wanted to finish getting tattooed a bit more. Her ultimate goal is to be fully covered and she's heading towards it quickly!

Read More